Saturday, April 19, 2008

First @ 12:27 AM

Yes, this is about studying.
I'm probably going through what people call "Rebellious Period."
Okay, maybe not exactly lar. Ha aren't u curious about what I am going to talk about?

Well, well, if this is really how the honours system works in LSE, I basically only need to just pass all my subjects this year and I can still get my first. Given that you only require a min of 35 marks to pass, I must say that it's not so hard to achieve. Not trying to sound cocky or anything, if one study hard enough, even if its just brainless mugging, one is bound to still get 35. Unless one is really damn suay or that one study like a few hours b4 the exam.

So anyway, I've heard a lot of "But you've already gotten ur first what", meaning that I am secured no matter what, and that I probably can just chill. I usually don't know what to reply, and will almost always come up with a sheepish " Heh heh, that's true." That's because I am too lazy to justify why I still need to get high grades for all my subjects. That's because I can almost hear my dad say (after results r out) about why XXX can get 100, 99, 98 or whatever la. That is why sometimes I dread picking up calls/replying to sms because I can almost memorise what he is going to say. How are the subjects this year? How is it going on with ur revision? If you compare this year n last year, which one is more difficult? Can u do all of ur exercises? Did you ask XXX about questions you don't know? Have you start doing past exam papers? How are the others doing? etc.

You know what, all my life, it has been about being compared with other people. How XXX got into EM1, while I got into EM2. How XXX got into special stream while I got into express stream. How XXX got into DHS while I got into CCHS. How XXX got into RJC while I got into VJC. How XXX got A1 for english, while I only got B4. etc

Worse is, I have been shaped into thinking that doing well in school is about the only thing I need to worry, that is until this year. Have you ever realised that we still have about 60 years of life and that doesn't depend on how many A's you get in school. Just to name a few,

1) Interview. During the interview, it's probably about how you can present yourself etc.

2) Job. When you r working, nobody will give a shit about how well u do in sch.

3) Guys. Heck, guys probably like dumber girls.

and etc

And you know what, I am seriously scared that I will end up being a boring nobody because all I can do is study study study.

But I can understand it cost damn a lot to send me overseas, so the decent thing is to actually do well to show that all the money has not been wasted. But I got my first already what, and I probably will still study to try and get all first for my subjects this year, and I already got my master's settled.

So stop comparing me to other people!

Stop asking me to study every single day.

Stop telling about how well other people do when the results are out and ask me to do better next time.

I want to have something else in life to be proud off besides studying.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

First @ 12:27 AM

Yes, this is about studying.
I'm probably going through what people call "Rebellious Period."
Okay, maybe not exactly lar. Ha aren't u curious about what I am going to talk about?

Well, well, if this is really how the honours system works in LSE, I basically only need to just pass all my subjects this year and I can still get my first. Given that you only require a min of 35 marks to pass, I must say that it's not so hard to achieve. Not trying to sound cocky or anything, if one study hard enough, even if its just brainless mugging, one is bound to still get 35. Unless one is really damn suay or that one study like a few hours b4 the exam.

So anyway, I've heard a lot of "But you've already gotten ur first what", meaning that I am secured no matter what, and that I probably can just chill. I usually don't know what to reply, and will almost always come up with a sheepish " Heh heh, that's true." That's because I am too lazy to justify why I still need to get high grades for all my subjects. That's because I can almost hear my dad say (after results r out) about why XXX can get 100, 99, 98 or whatever la. That is why sometimes I dread picking up calls/replying to sms because I can almost memorise what he is going to say. How are the subjects this year? How is it going on with ur revision? If you compare this year n last year, which one is more difficult? Can u do all of ur exercises? Did you ask XXX about questions you don't know? Have you start doing past exam papers? How are the others doing? etc.

You know what, all my life, it has been about being compared with other people. How XXX got into EM1, while I got into EM2. How XXX got into special stream while I got into express stream. How XXX got into DHS while I got into CCHS. How XXX got into RJC while I got into VJC. How XXX got A1 for english, while I only got B4. etc

Worse is, I have been shaped into thinking that doing well in school is about the only thing I need to worry, that is until this year. Have you ever realised that we still have about 60 years of life and that doesn't depend on how many A's you get in school. Just to name a few,

1) Interview. During the interview, it's probably about how you can present yourself etc.

2) Job. When you r working, nobody will give a shit about how well u do in sch.

3) Guys. Heck, guys probably like dumber girls.

and etc

And you know what, I am seriously scared that I will end up being a boring nobody because all I can do is study study study.

But I can understand it cost damn a lot to send me overseas, so the decent thing is to actually do well to show that all the money has not been wasted. But I got my first already what, and I probably will still study to try and get all first for my subjects this year, and I already got my master's settled.

So stop comparing me to other people!

Stop asking me to study every single day.

Stop telling about how well other people do when the results are out and ask me to do better next time.

I want to have something else in life to be proud off besides studying.