Friday, October 13, 2006

Devastated @ 3:15 PM

Devastated was what i felt yesterday.
I know I'm a little to old to be fangirling.. worse to be seriously affected by what happen in the fandom world..But when i knew of that news yesterday, my world just came crashing.. ( well the fact that i am fine and blogging now.. means that i am fine now la.. so don't worry.. )

Anyway, the story goes like this.....

Yesterday morning...I woke up from my sleep.. only to find news of Jin ( yesh my darling) going on a 3-mth hiatus starting from that day itself to go abroad to study.. Now thats really shocking.. course kat-tun only debutted for 7 mths and by right this kind of sudden thing should not happen..
Of course i couldnt immediatedly accept it.. went high and low.. of all the websites forums that i know of.. but only to find myself in the midst of equally confused and worried fans.

Why were we worried when its only a study leave?
Course its too sudden
Course its a well known fact that jin didnt have any solo activities for more than 1 year
Course he is too headstrong, and that may get him into trouble with some of the high management team..

Speculations came flying about the real reasons behind his leave..
He was too tired of being abandoned.. while seeing this bandmates each increasin their own solo activities..
He talked back at one of the boss when she reprimanded him
He was sick and needed to receive treatment..

Luckily, because of the time diff between london and japan, for me.. the wait wasnt too long before the official news were announced..

Now.. instead of three mths... its 6 mths or indefinite study break .. indefinite course the school curriculum may not be able to fit into 6 mths..

Then.. we all go crazy again... Course indefinite may mean that he may never return at all. That conclusion didnt come without any base.

1) Jimusho ( the talent agency ) has no lack of promising talents, and even though jin is highly popular compared to a lot of other juniors, his behaviour may not be tolerated as Jimusho can easily create another money-generating group. So by doing something so sudden ( and irresponsible) the Jimusho may not allow him to be back even after the 6 mtsh are over.. ( worse.. the whole study break thingie may be just a smoke screen.. the whole motive may be just to get Jin out of the way... as its quite difficult to maintain a group with 2 equally popular members.. )

2) A similar kind of thing ( well not that similar) happened to another group of the same agency called NEWS. Early last year, one of NEWS' member UCHI, was caught under age drinking, and so he was suspended.. another member ,Kusano of the same group was caugh drinkin as well.. and he was suspended.. Then.. the whole grouped was suspended.. It has been more than a year since that incident happened and there doesnt seem to be any signs of Uchi n Kusano returning.

3) Smap.. the all time popular group in japan didnt actually start out as 5 members. One of the members left the group in 1996 when everything's going well for them ( just like kat-tun) .. but the group continued to soar to greater heights..

Anyway if i were to go on and on.. i would probably come out with a 10000 word essay on why Cynthia was worried...

Anyway.. the point is.. the probability of Jin never returning is very high...

It took me some time for that to settle in..

Actually.. my behaviour was kinda childish yesterday..
Thinking that if i pretend nothing happened... go to school as usual.. when i come back.. I would find that everything was just my imagination.. or that they had make a terrible joke.. Childish right? But it was the only thing i could do in order not to break down in front of my friends...

even after i returned home... I was still in the state of denial... I couldnt even cry out.. even though i usually cry easily.. Devastated had gone to become Emptiness.

It was only until midnight... when i was staring in front of my comp.. everything start to hit me... I was crying so hard .. tears just kept falling and i couldnt stop it...

Finally i had to think of happy thoughts like.. *maybe jin decided to come to london to study.. and i met him at the dodgy korean eating place .. where we exchanged numbers.. and 6 mths later.. he returned to kat-tun and everything is back to normal... only that i remained in contact with him * :)

But when i woke up.. i know how foolish i had been... nevertheless i still picked myself out of bed and went for the morning lecture..

doodled his name on my lecture notes and before i knew it.. tears started welling again.. so cynthia was there.. sitting in the middle of the lecture.. tryin frantically to act as if she's stifling a yawn.. and wiping of the tears nonchantly..
stupid behaviour.. but what else i could do?

But I started to feel better after that..

well.. life do go on.. don't it?

There's supposedly a press conference this evening ( japan time ).. Will wait... to see how he is doing... and if he is really glad that he made such a decision..
If its really what he wish to do..then i will wish him all the best...
at most... i will buy more boxes of tissue.. in case i decided to incur the habit of crying myself to sleep everynight....
===========================================

I didnt explain why i started to feel better..
its course.. of this interview that jin had with a magazine last mth.. when asked what he desire to do most? he said.. pick up a language and experience living in that country.. which is exactly what he will be doin..
so i kept convinving myself that its really his own wish.. and not some office politics bullshit..

I should cheer myself up in preparation for my next lesson...

next entry shall be on how I got drunk on tuesday night...
worse thing ever to do
Don't ever get drunk
its the worse feeling in the world..

Friday, October 13, 2006

Devastated @ 3:15 PM

Devastated was what i felt yesterday.
I know I'm a little to old to be fangirling.. worse to be seriously affected by what happen in the fandom world..But when i knew of that news yesterday, my world just came crashing.. ( well the fact that i am fine and blogging now.. means that i am fine now la.. so don't worry.. )

Anyway, the story goes like this.....

Yesterday morning...I woke up from my sleep.. only to find news of Jin ( yesh my darling) going on a 3-mth hiatus starting from that day itself to go abroad to study.. Now thats really shocking.. course kat-tun only debutted for 7 mths and by right this kind of sudden thing should not happen..
Of course i couldnt immediatedly accept it.. went high and low.. of all the websites forums that i know of.. but only to find myself in the midst of equally confused and worried fans.

Why were we worried when its only a study leave?
Course its too sudden
Course its a well known fact that jin didnt have any solo activities for more than 1 year
Course he is too headstrong, and that may get him into trouble with some of the high management team..

Speculations came flying about the real reasons behind his leave..
He was too tired of being abandoned.. while seeing this bandmates each increasin their own solo activities..
He talked back at one of the boss when she reprimanded him
He was sick and needed to receive treatment..

Luckily, because of the time diff between london and japan, for me.. the wait wasnt too long before the official news were announced..

Now.. instead of three mths... its 6 mths or indefinite study break .. indefinite course the school curriculum may not be able to fit into 6 mths..

Then.. we all go crazy again... Course indefinite may mean that he may never return at all. That conclusion didnt come without any base.

1) Jimusho ( the talent agency ) has no lack of promising talents, and even though jin is highly popular compared to a lot of other juniors, his behaviour may not be tolerated as Jimusho can easily create another money-generating group. So by doing something so sudden ( and irresponsible) the Jimusho may not allow him to be back even after the 6 mtsh are over.. ( worse.. the whole study break thingie may be just a smoke screen.. the whole motive may be just to get Jin out of the way... as its quite difficult to maintain a group with 2 equally popular members.. )

2) A similar kind of thing ( well not that similar) happened to another group of the same agency called NEWS. Early last year, one of NEWS' member UCHI, was caught under age drinking, and so he was suspended.. another member ,Kusano of the same group was caugh drinkin as well.. and he was suspended.. Then.. the whole grouped was suspended.. It has been more than a year since that incident happened and there doesnt seem to be any signs of Uchi n Kusano returning.

3) Smap.. the all time popular group in japan didnt actually start out as 5 members. One of the members left the group in 1996 when everything's going well for them ( just like kat-tun) .. but the group continued to soar to greater heights..

Anyway if i were to go on and on.. i would probably come out with a 10000 word essay on why Cynthia was worried...

Anyway.. the point is.. the probability of Jin never returning is very high...

It took me some time for that to settle in..

Actually.. my behaviour was kinda childish yesterday..
Thinking that if i pretend nothing happened... go to school as usual.. when i come back.. I would find that everything was just my imagination.. or that they had make a terrible joke.. Childish right? But it was the only thing i could do in order not to break down in front of my friends...

even after i returned home... I was still in the state of denial... I couldnt even cry out.. even though i usually cry easily.. Devastated had gone to become Emptiness.

It was only until midnight... when i was staring in front of my comp.. everything start to hit me... I was crying so hard .. tears just kept falling and i couldnt stop it...

Finally i had to think of happy thoughts like.. *maybe jin decided to come to london to study.. and i met him at the dodgy korean eating place .. where we exchanged numbers.. and 6 mths later.. he returned to kat-tun and everything is back to normal... only that i remained in contact with him * :)

But when i woke up.. i know how foolish i had been... nevertheless i still picked myself out of bed and went for the morning lecture..

doodled his name on my lecture notes and before i knew it.. tears started welling again.. so cynthia was there.. sitting in the middle of the lecture.. tryin frantically to act as if she's stifling a yawn.. and wiping of the tears nonchantly..
stupid behaviour.. but what else i could do?

But I started to feel better after that..

well.. life do go on.. don't it?

There's supposedly a press conference this evening ( japan time ).. Will wait... to see how he is doing... and if he is really glad that he made such a decision..
If its really what he wish to do..then i will wish him all the best...
at most... i will buy more boxes of tissue.. in case i decided to incur the habit of crying myself to sleep everynight....
===========================================

I didnt explain why i started to feel better..
its course.. of this interview that jin had with a magazine last mth.. when asked what he desire to do most? he said.. pick up a language and experience living in that country.. which is exactly what he will be doin..
so i kept convinving myself that its really his own wish.. and not some office politics bullshit..

I should cheer myself up in preparation for my next lesson...

next entry shall be on how I got drunk on tuesday night...
worse thing ever to do
Don't ever get drunk
its the worse feeling in the world..